My mom and I had a heart to heart today. She was talking about all the stuff she hasn’t been able to do these past few months. How she feels so weak. How she feels so tired. All. The. Time. How she feels like she has made my family miss out on so much. I kid you not, this woman who is battling for her life is thinking of how she is “inconveniencing” us. My mom is an angel.
I listened to her work through her feelings and it made me think.
If we had been able to travel and go places these last few months, that would have meant that they did not catch the cancer, so those trips would have been our last as a family. Her cancer is so aggressive that, if left untreated, at this time next year she would be at a stage four. Which would not have left a lot of treatment options.
It still blows my mind.
Even just the mere thought of it makes me tear up. My turquoise queen. My llama loving, piano playing, number-one-strawberry-pie-making mom. What would my life be without you?
Thankfully, that isn’t the conversation we have to be having. They found her cancer by chance. By the Grace of God. It’s truly a miracle. So, it seems like an appropriate thing to celebrate for Christmas.
Christmas is about Jesus and celebrating him. It is a time to celebrate family and celebrate life. For everyone, that’ll mean something different. Maybe it’s being a part of the biggest celebration that your soul has ever seen. Maybe it’s the healing that you’ve been praying for. Or maybe it’s just taking a quiet moment to soak in a moment before it’s over.
For me, it’s a heart bursting at the seams with thanks. It’s a celebration, a healing, a quiet moment all mixed together to make the loudest yet most calming silence in my heart. Almost like the feeling of looking out and watching snow gather on your window sill. It’s warm.
I’m thankful for the people I’m gonna sit around the tree with. I’m thankful for this wonderful life and for the way that things seem to work out.
And I’m thankful that I get to share this Christmas with my mom.